Reality star and businesswoman Kelly Bensimon is making headlines for the right reasons. With just 4 days until the wedding was to take place, Kelly Bensimon made the decision to call off her wedding to financier Scott Litner. For Bensimon, the decision was a significant but easy one to make. Litner refused to sign a prenup. Bensimon is quoted as saying, “But I’ve worked really, really hard as a single mother and have always made smart decisions for myself and my family, and that will continue.”

Prenuptial agreements are not something to put aside or ignore if you are entering a marriage with assets to protect – wealth, a business, property and other significant assets. While the movies have painted a picture that such agreements show a lack of faith in a marriage, the reality is that they can be critical to protecting those assets for years (even generations) to come. Kelly Bensimon of the Real Housewives franchise is a good example of the importance of these tools.

Kelly Bensimon Decided to Cancel Her Wedding

Bensimon canceled her wedding because her fiancée would not sign a prenup, but is this reality for most people? Your relationship is unlikely to have the PR and media attention this TV couple has built for themselves. But if the invitations have been sent and the RSVPs are confirmed, canceling a wedding can be embarrassing. Yet, it is critical to consider the implications of having a prenup versus not having one. If you are considering entering a marriage, and even if you are ultra-confident it will never fail, you should still consider the protections this legal tool can provide to you both.

Discuss a Prenuptial Agreement Early On

Marriage is a legal contract – and so is a prenup. If you are willing to sign a legal contract to join with your partner in marriage, why would you not want to sign a legal contract BEFORE the marriage to clarify that both of you understand and agree on the terms of your marriage contract?

Perhaps Bensimon’s only mistake in this situation was waiting too long for her fiancée to sign a prenup. The sooner you have the conversation about prenuptial agreements, the better for both parties. Discussing a prenup is not a sign of bad faith in the relationship, but it does provide clarity that both parties can appreciate when it comes to moving forward.

  • Discuss the assets being brought into the marriage
  • Talk to your soon-to-be spouse about the benefits of a prenup for both parties
  • Note that prenups do not mean one person gets nothing, but instead, create a fair plan that both partners agree on before heartbreak and emotional stress get in the way
It Is Not Just About How a Marriage Will End

Prenups protect both parties in a marriage. While prenups certainly put in place rules about how a marriage will end should it fail to work out, that is not all these legal tools can do. In fact, they make it very clear that an important financial discussion has to take place long before you enter into a marriage contract. A valid prenuptial agreement requires an open and honest conversation prior to signing a marriage contract.

Some of the topics you should talk about before marriage include:

  • What debt does each spouse have coming into the marriage? Discussing current debt obligations is critical before your spouse suddenly becomes saddled with added costs they did not know were there.
  • How will money be managed in the marriage? For some couples, splitting the bills and earnings among each paycheck works the best. For others, a joint checking account that both pay into for paying expenses is the better solution. The key is having a discussion about what is likely to happen.
  • What spending habits does the other person have? A significant number of marriages end because of the other spouse’s spending habits. Some people simply do not believe they should buy or invest in anything, while others want to enjoy the simple things in life right away. This is another important conversation that must be understood.
  • What expectations does each spouse have for retirement planning? Retirement planning is not something that should be put off, but it is often the last thing new couples think about right away. Yet, both should enter into some understanding of what is to be expected.
  • Financial budgeting and decision-making questions? It may also be important to consider questions related to how a budget will be created, how money will be managed, who is responsible for what, and how decisions about large expenses will be made. One party may want a big house, while another may not want to move.

Having these decisions early on is critical. If you do not have them and you enter into a marriage contract, you create an uneasy transition period. More so, this conversation helps to ensure that both partners are capable of making decisions and working together.

Do You Need Prenuptial Agreements?

Not every marriage warrants a complex prenup to be put in place. However, in any marriage a prenuptial agreement may be beneficial because it requires important conversations about the finances and management of the marriage. Some examples may include:

  • Business Owner
    Either both parties have significant assets entering the marriage, whether they includes business, real estate or investment accounts
  • Asset Division
    When either party has strong beliefs about how their assets will be divided should a marriage not work out
  • Stay At Home Parent
    If one spouse is likely to be a stay-at-home parent and wants to ensure their needs are met should the marriage end
  • Inheritance
    Those who stand to inherit a substantial amount of assets during the course of the marriage (even though these are not divided during divorce) may wish to put in place clear expectations
  • Student Debt
    Those entering a marriage with a significant amount of debt, including student loan debt, who want to protect their rights if the marriage were to fail.
Whether You Need One or Not, We Can Help You

Most people don’t have the courage to walk away if their future partner refuses to sign a prenup—especially four days before the wedding! Bensimon’s experience highlights the importance of discussing prenuptial agreements prior to making the decision to get married.

To learn more about prenuptial agreements—or if you’re already married and want to discuss a postnuptial agreement—set up an appointment with our New Jersey family law attorneys. Call 732-361-4718 to contact our legal team at Jersey Coast Family Law to learn more about your rights and legal options. We serve all of Toms River and Red Bank by providing exceptional New Jersey divorce and family law legal support.

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Check out our other blogs: New Jersey’s Judge Shortage: Why Your Divorce Might Take Longer Than Expected

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