When a relationship ends, people move on with their lives, building separate paths. When that relationship involves children, it suddenly is much harder to remove the ex from your life. What if you did not have to do so? With effective co-parenting strategies, it may be possible for parents to work together while not being together for the best possible benefit of their children.
It may not sound like this is a possible path, especially if you have not had success communicating during a marriage. Yet, there are people who are showcasing exactly how healthy co-parenting strategies work and how to apply them to your life.
Let’s be clear, if you are in a relationship that needs to end, do not wait to contact a lawyer at Jersey Coast Family Law. Our attorneys are here when you need us, no matter the situation.
How a TikTok Family Is Making Co-Parenting Work
They did not have the perfect relationship and the divorce process was hard for Courtany and John Dobson. They exchanged plenty of hurtful words as they separated . Yet, there was one thing they agreed on, and that was that they wanted to be the ones to continue to make decisions for their children.
The parents took to TikTok to tell their story and you can read more about it on People.com. On the social media platform, they share insights into what they did to bring good communication into their co-parenting efforts, and the results are rather impressive.
Consider these strategies to determine if any of these co-parenting tips could apply to your situation.
They Made the Decisions About Custody
Their goal was to split everything down the middle, and that included creating a custody agreement that provided both parents with equal time with their kids.
They Support Their Children
Another interesting strategy they use is a rule that when they have school events, the whole family arrives as a group and sits together. That type of collaboration has helped them to continue to work together to raise their children.
They Split Everything
Neither parent receives alimony or child support. Instead, the couple made the decision to split everything in half. When one parent purchases clothing for school, the other pays half of the cost. They keep receipts and keep on an established payment routine.
The Kids Do Not See the Unkind Comments
They work to respect each other, especially when it comes to the children. They do not engage in hateful comments with each other or about each other in front of their children. They note clearly that they respect each other because of their kids. When they do have disagreements or concerns, they remind themselves of why they have the current process in place and work through it.
Why Choose Positive Co-Parenting Strategies?
The Dobson family is unique, and not every family will be able to communicate in such a positive and open manner to support each other. To provide insight into why they do what they do, consider a few statements that were made by Courtany about their co-parenting communication, as quoted by People.
“We didn’t go to court. We didn’t let strangers decide when our kids could see one another. We don’t do child support…” She continues, “We pick up the slack when the other parent needs it. We help each other out. Most importantly, our kids are thriving, and we give them our absolute all.”
How to Create Positive Co-Parenting Outcomes in Your Relationship
Positive co-parenting tips can help many parents to work through failed relationships to support their children. As noted, this is an unusual situation, but there is a great deal to learn about what makes it work.
Clear Communication
At the heart of what the Dobsons do well is communicate. They established a set of rules they followed that both agreed on for things like money management and custody. That worked for them because they were able to communicate it clearly.
In your own situation, it may be beneficial to consider if you and the other parent can come to an agreement in a fair manner in the same way. In some situations, mediation can help with this if you cannot communicate well together.
Established Routines
Another component of their arrangement that creates effective co-parenting is an established routine. While the article does not provide much about what their schedule is, the Dobsons worked together to
create a routine so that the parents could see their child but also could be flexible enough to meet their children’s needs over time.
Being Flexible Matters
In the text messages shared on their TikTok, it is clear that both parents are willing to “give” when necessary. The messages are not filled with hate or “you were supposed to” language. Instead, when one needs support, they work together.
In your own relationship, it may be critical to try to find ways to work together when it is both safe and healthy for you both to do so. Effective co-parenting is not simple in this area, especially when parents have to come together for a last-minute change of plans.
Know When to Get Help for Your Family’s Success
These healthy co-parenting strategies worked for the Dobsons, but one of the most important factors to learn from their story is that the two worked together to find a solution that fit their needs. It is in that type of collaboration that parents can continue to make all of the decisions for their children instead of relying on a judge to determine what is fair.
That is not always possible. As a New Jersey family lawyer, we know firsthand how challenging it can be. It took these parents four years to create a healthy and friendly relationship so that they could continue to support their children.
Contact Jersey Coast Family Law, Where Family Comes First, at 732-361-4718 when you need help from a local attorney who can guide you. Contact us to schedule an appointment at our Toms River and Red Bank locations.
Serving Clients in Ocean and Monmouth Counties and throughout New Jersey
Check out our other blogs: Equitable vs Equal: Understanding Asset Division in New Jersey Divorces.
Facing Divorce in Monmouth County? Jersey Coast Family Law is Here for You – From Sea Girt to Toms River.
