When the holidays start, traditions begin to come to mind. Perhaps you were divorced this year, and now, you are realizing that a lot of your traditions are about to change. Many times, people do not think about their holiday assets while they are filing for divorce, but the holidays are sure to bring back those memories. Dividing holiday assets in divorce is an important factor for many families. 

At Jersey Coast Family Law, our divorce attorney can offer insight and guidance to you about managing those asset decisions. If you are in the middle of filing for divorce, perhaps not yet finalizing it, now is the ideal time to take action to create a plan for holiday property division in New Jersey as well. Here are some tips and strategies to help you navigate the process.

Understanding Holiday Assets in Divorce

What is holiday-related property? While this differs in each family, some examples of common items that should be considered during a property division include the following:

  • Decorations 
  • Heirlooms passed down from generations (or even just one generation) 
  • Gifts cherished and stored with holiday décor 
  • Memorabilia significant to your family or shared events 

Valuing these items can be challenging, even in the most ideal situation. If something belongs to one person, such as a gift from a grandparent, that person typically maintains ownership of it during a divorce.

Items that were acquired during your marriage are likely considered marital property. That means these items are divided as a part of the divorce process. Only you know the value of these items from a personal standpoint, but when it comes to fair division of assets during divorce, there are a few things to keep in mind.

First, note the importance of negotiation regarding any of these items. If you know something is valuable to the other party, negotiating for other assets could prove worthwhile. No one wants to take away Great Grandma’s Christmas tea set, but items with value equally shared in ownership need some consideration.

Who Gets What? Legal and Practical Considerations

Like all other assets, holiday property division in New Jersey typically revolves around determining ownership based on when or by whom it was purchased. New Jersey courts address holiday assets during property division. The goal is equitable, not equal, distribution. 

In situations where you both purchased the item or perhaps acquired it during your marriage, you have options to consider:

  • Let the court decide the fair division of the asset. 
  • Sell the asset and split the funds.
  • Decide what you want and what your spouse wants, and negotiate to find an agreement. 
  • Find a way to share. For example, you may want to alternate ownership of specific items for a specific time.
  • Consider other shared use if there are items meaningful enough to do so and if you can work out a fair plan.

Each situation will be different. More so, the emotional impact of divorce and the holidays can also play a role in your decisions here. If you are unsure what to do, let your attorney offer you guidance and support. It can make a significant difference in the long term to have a legal opinion about what is most important in this battle.

Preserving Family Traditions for Children

Co-parenting holiday traditions adds another layer of complexity to the work you have to do as a divorced parent. There is no specific strategy that works in every situation, and often, there are going to be disagreements, especially when both parents have very different ideas of what is best for the child.

Maintaining traditions is important for children. It can help to create and maintain stability for your children during a very jarring time of their lives. That first holiday season may be very intense for them, as they are faced with a variety of up-and-down moments. Having the ability to count on family traditions being somewhat normal could be important. 

That continuity for children post-divorce has to come from the right place. Be sure that you are making decisions based on what is best for the child and not decisions based on what would hurt the other parent. It is easy to find yourself facing such trauma in a difficult divorce. Yet, remember that preserving family stability post-divorce often means finding a middle ground to agree on and then finding a way to navigate the process.

Co-parenting and collaboratively preserving cherished customs while maintaining parent’s boundaries is not easy to do. Consider these tips to help with the process:

  • Communicate in the best way possible. Often, this simply is not an option. The damage is too severe. In those situations, find a mediator who can serve in the best interest of the child.
  • Compromise when possible. Perhaps each parent can choose a tradition that is important and meaningful to them to carry on, each focusing on a different type of activity or experience to maintain traditions. 
  • Make new changes. There are many times when it is time to consider new traditions and processes, and new is not a bad thing. When you cannot come to an agreement, find a new way to celebrate the holidays that could be even more special to all involved.

Most importantly, respect each parent’s boundaries. This will prove to be critical in all situations. Showing that type of patience, even if you do not believe the other parent is contributing equally, could be a very important lesson to teach your children during the holidays.

When Things Are Challenging, Get the Legal Help You Need

Jersey Coast Family Law works with people making huge, life-changing decisions about their future. We offer clarity, honesty, and solutions to even the most challenging of situations. Contact our family law attorney, Abigale Stolfe, now to discuss your case and learn more about the legal options available to you to navigate holiday-time co-parenting decisions. When you cannot work together, ensure you have an advocate by your side. Call 732-361-4718 today to schedule an appointment in an office in Toms River or Red Bank where we serve clients throughout New Jersey.

 

Check out our other blogs: End-of-Year Estate Planning Tips for Newly Divorced or Those in the Process.