Going through divorce mediation is always an intense, often worrisome process. Both parties often have ideas, needs, and fears about the future, while some also just want the best possible outcome for both parties. Yet, making some of the most common divorce mediation mistakes in New Jersey could put the future at risk. 

With the help of our legal team at Jersey Coast Family Law, we can offer a wide range of resources and supportive insights to help you. Avoiding pitfalls in mediation is easier to do when you have an experienced lawyer by your side throughout the process.

Consider the following common mistakes and how to avoid them as you enter the mediation process.

Failing to Prepare Properly

Preparing for divorce mediation in NJ is a crucial part of the legal process. By doing so, you create a cohesive plan that enables you to remain in control of the situation. That is, you know what your rights are, what your assets are, and what your options are. 

For example, when preparing for a meeting with your employer or new client, the more organized you are, the better the mediation process will be. Consider these tips:

  • Gather all of your financial documents before the meeting. Ensure this includes the most up-to-date versions of account statements. If you are unsure if you need to share specific information, ask our attorney to guide you.
  • Clarify your goals. Know what you really want out of this divorce. Document what those needs are and differentiate between needs and wants. Make a case for why these assets or decisions are imperative to you. Do this before the mediator asks you questions.
  • Prepare for the emotional aspect of this process. This is an emotional step in your life, but recognizing how you are feeling and validating those feelings helps you gain the confidence to head into this mediation process. If you need to do so, talk to a friend or other party about the emotional challenges you are encountering in mediation.
Letting Emotions Take Over

As noted, the emotional challenges in mediation can range from intense to heartbreaking. You may be anxious and afraid or excited about the future. These are all natural and expected emotions.

However, bringing unresolved anger, resentment, and intense fear into the mediation process often skews the best decision making. It may get in the way of making decisions that are truly beneficial to yourself and your future over the long term. Consider these tips:

  • Meet with a therapist prior to mediation. Work out the really hard stuff there, where you are protected and safe. 
  • Choose a mediator trained in conflict resolution. If your relationship is experiencing intense conflict, having a conflict resolution specialist available can make an incredible difference in navigating the process forward. There is nothing wrong with seeking out a professional who can handle the difficulties you face. 
  • Trust in your attorney. Your attorney’s job is not to help you navigate the emotional complexities of divorce. However, your attorney can help by providing legal insight into the decisions and concerns you have. That could help you make decisions that may be better suited to your future and less based on your current emotional state. 

Recognize the challenges you are facing are very real. Anyone who says divorce is easy may not be telling the whole truth. By seeking legal advice for mediation in NJ and having an attorney you trust by your side, you will make better decisions in the long term.

Ignoring Legal Guidance

While you consider your future, recognize that everything you are thinking, feeling, and going through is very raw. There is one simple way for you to navigate this process. A skilled attorney is the only resource you can count on to minimize the fallout. Yet, it is a very common mistake for people not to at least consider what their attorney may be sharing with them.

Consulting with an experienced New Jersey divorce attorney throughout the mediation process can help you in a number of ways.

  • It ensures you are being treated fairly throughout the process and no bias is present.
  • Your attorney can offer insight into how to negotiate for your best possible outcome. Your lawyer has the ability to see beyond the emotion to what your future may hold. 
  • Your attorney makes sure that all agreements are fair and comply with state laws. You want to ensure your attorney is transparent and honest with you about every stage of this process and what you can expect through it. You need an advocate at this point.

Look for an attorney who has the goal of protecting your rights through mediation under state laws. You also want an attorney whose objective is to protect your long-term interests above all else. They create and oversee successful divorce mediation strategies for you, giving you legal options and insights that could work in your favor.

New Jersey Family Law Attorney Mediation Tips

As you progress through the mediation process, remember these tips to help you through the process:

  • You need an attorney and will benefit from one. Mediation does not replace having an attorney who will remain by your side. 
  • Ensure your decisions are not emotionally based. This is very hard to do, even in the best of situations. Trust your attorney to be honest and frank with you about what you are actually agreeing to throughout the process.
  • Be open and honest with your attorney as well. When you confide in your legal team, they can offer you better insight and strategies to improve your objectives.
Seek Out Guidance from a Family Law Attorney

Mediation is a big part of the legal process of divorce and one that you must take seriously. Yet, there is a lot riding on these decisions. Avoid going through this on your own. Instead, turn to a Jersey Coast Family Law team member who is ready to fight for you. Contact our legal team now to learn how we can offer you guidance. Call us in Toms River or Red Bank at 732-361-4718 where we serve clients throughout New Jersey.

 

Check out our other blogs: Dividing Holiday Assets: Preserving Family Traditions After Divorce in New Jersey.